I remember when I first started having generalized anxiety problems right around when I turned 21. It got so bad I couldn’t get out of the house to go to work. Getting on a bus and train to go to work was absolutely a horrific experience, I felt I was in danger for my life at all times, and I used to sit on the side door facing seats so no one was behind me, but even that helped just a little. When I was at work, and a customer would come in and make his/her way towards me I immediately went on alert as I felt this uncontrollable fear s/he was going to kill me, or hurt me in any way. I remember the stigma at the time regarding mental illness and I told no one about what I was going through. There were days when I would call in sick just so I didn’t have to go outside and face people everywhere. I believe the starting point for this disorder was when I was mugged on my way from the train station home by a bunch of teenagers. Later I discovered that with all the abuse that I had had to endure for many years I had this general fear of people. It took a lot of therapy and drugs to get on track, only to succumb later to bipolar and farther more to borderline personality disorder.

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