The Difference Between You and I – Equal Yet Different

I want to know what it’s like to be normal, to be accepted, to be human, to be equal, to be free.

I want to know what it’s like to be open, to be heard, to be loved, to be happy, to be me.

I want to know what it’s like to feel like I belong, to feel like I am strong, that who I am, isn’t wrong.

I want to know what it’s like to know that I am here, that I’ll make it through the year, to know that I won’t… disappear.

I want to know what it’s like to not have to fight, to see an end in sight, to make what is wrong, right.

I want to know what it’s like, to be able to believe in a higher power that doesn’t see me as sin, or sodomy.

I want to know what it’s like to have liberty and justice for all, to break down this dividing wall, to remove homophobia, from the law.

I want to know what it’s like to have a feeling that isn’t sad, to have something that I’ve never had, to have a child call me Dad.

I want to know what it’s like to not feel like I’m a freak, to not feel like I am weak, to not be silenced when I speak.

I want to know what it’s like, to live beyond a closet door, to see my father once more, to show him I’m not who I was before.

I want to know what it’s like to donate the blood from my veins, but because I’m gay I must refrain, why does my sexuality pertain?!

I want to know what it’s like to not be expelled from school, to not be made to look like a fool, how is my homosexuality breaking a rule?!

I want to know what it’s like to undo what’s been done to me, to give sight to those who cannot see that I am no lesser of a human being.

I want to know what it’s like to not be considered a disease, to not have majority I have to please, to freely express my individuality.

I want to know what it’s like to live in a land truly of the free NOT a land that excludes me this is not how it’s supposed to be!

I want to know what it’s like to not be the target of bigotry, to not have you question my sanity, to not succumb to your superiority.

I want to know what it’s like to overcome all of my fears, to uncry these countless tears that have been shed over the years

I want to know what it’s like to learn about Gay leaders of the past in my high school history class.

I want to know what it’s like can somebody please tell me what is so wrong with that?!

I want to know what it’s like to have pride, to not have to hide, to not have to lie my whole life. To not have my sexuality be denied.

I want to know what it’s like, to not have to feel this hurt inside, to not think these thoughts in my mind, to not contemplate suicide.

I want to know what it’s like, to have this pain in me subside, to heal this wound that bleeds inside. To get back the tears that I’ve cried, to take back the years that I’ve tried, to bring back the life that has died. To unite this world’s divide, to make change with stride, to not stand below, but beside.

I want to know what it’s like to have this choice you say is mine. To have science and religion intertwine. To have love be redefined.

I want to know what it’s like to have a government that won’t instate, unfair laws that provoke hate for fear that society will disintegrate.

I want to know what it’s like to live in a world without hate! A world that does not discriminate! A world in which I can feel safe!

A world in which I can feel safe! Whether I am Gay, Bi, or Straight.

This is the world we must create!!

These are the actions we must take, these are the decisions we must make!

The time is NOW, we cannot, we must not, we will not wait.

I want to know what it’s like to have equal opportunity, to know full equality, to be one humanity.

I want to know what it’s like to be treated equally by my peers, to stand alongside every Queer on the edge of a new frontier.

A frontier that no one will dictate.

A frontier where there will be no debate.

A frontier in which everyone can relate.

A frontier made up of love, and not hate.

I want to know what it’s like to open your eyes, so you can see. The way this world is supposed to be. That we aren’t so different, you and me.These are the words of the video. Words stronger than most and rarely heard in my life, by people of all races and backgrounds who are asking one simple question; I want to know what it feels like?

Many times in my life I’ve asked myself the same question; what would it feel like to have a world where I didn’t have to hide, where I didn’t have to compromise, where I didn’t have to lower my head as some other person felt it was his duty to put me in my place as a faggot, where I had to lie every time I was asked about my marital status, where I had to switch “He” with “She” or “Him” with “Her”. All this coming from a gay man who has lived his life pretty openly in two different countries while maintaining a certain level of privacy. At the same time I’ve had to make certain changes depending on where I was living at the time, and this has profoundly hurt me. Most people consider me to be very lucky, because unlike them I don’t have to marry on order to get my family off my back, or my friends, or my coworkers, but at the same time there are things that I as well cannot fully and openly do as a gay man.

I’ve often told people, it is one thing to talk the talk and walk the walk without paying something on your way there. A fine. Something to remind you of your limitations as a person in whichever society you were born in and had to “conform” to their rules. It’s unnerving to say the least to see your rights, your individualism come under attack from all angles, just because a group, a society, a government sees to it, that you are reminded of who you are, and why are you now in this predicament. Worse of all is when they tell you; you can change if only had the will, same as someone would say for a smoker, he can quit if he only had the will power to do so, in order to conform to a better health ideal.

It’s unnerving to hear those closest to you, the ones you’ve always had a close friendship with, to finally admit they think it is a phase even after decades, something that would just run its course and than you’d be back amidst the heterosexuals waiting for you with open arms.

It is unnerving to hear those close to you, that my sexual life is TMI while they talk about any gutter sexual escapade both with pride and giddy fun. Why my sexual life is off limits to your ears and yours can be displayed right to my face with your smoochies of love with your latest boyfriend? Why does my love and hurting because of it has less value, and it is worth less just because I fell for yet another guy who turned out to be a jerk, just like your last 7 relationships and 3 marriages? Who decides which love, relationship, or person in my life has more or less value that those who have encountered in yours? Who decides? Is it still a contest of sorts, to prove my emotional life against yours? Is it still once again, my love life against yours, and how valid one against the other is? When are we going to stop competing for which one has more validity than the other? Where are we just going to accept the fact our sexual/emotional lives are just as valid be they gay or hetero, transgender or bisexual?

I do not need you to pity me. I definitely do not need you to feel you must land a hand because I don’t know any better, because believe it or not, in my 34 years on this earth, I think I have a pretty good idea what works and what does not work for myself and those around me. My sexuality is only a foot note in the whole ensemble which is Me, never more and never less.

When are we going to stop fighting for equality by always trying to convince the heterosexual world we are the same? Yes, in many ways we’re the same, we want the same things. We want to be able to provide for ourselves and for our families. We want to love and be loved. We want long lasting relationships. We want to feel accepted and not ridiculed and seen as something which has been made this way weather by choice or some gene. But, alas WE ARE NOT THE SAME. This is the main thing most queer people forget to admit to the hetero world, out of fear and bigotry they will lose support from them in the advancement of LGBT rights. This is what has always made me nauseous with most of the :LGBT human rights organizations, trying to sell the idea of the couple with two babies, with a nice home, with e pink picket fence, and so on. Yes, there are couples out there who have that, yet there are plenty more people who live single, and very sexual lives. There are those among us who frequent bathhouses, and are gym obsessed, the disco queens, the trannies, leather daddies, backroom sex and goes on until tomorrow. Enough with characters on TV, which even though promote gay youth, continue to be Eunuchs, asexual,

ENOUGH with Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, Sebastian Smythe, Brittany Pierce, Santana Lopez, Unique Adams.

ENOUGH with Will & Grace.

ENOUGH with Danny Mahealani.

ENOUGH with Lafayette Reynolds,Tara Thornton, Eddie Gautier, Jesus Velasquez, Russell Edgington, Talbot, Pam, Yvetta, David Finch.

ENOUGH with Willow Rosenberg,Tara Maclay,Kennedy,Andrew Wells,Larry Blaisdell,Scott Hope.

It is sickening to see Kurt Hummer and Blaine Anderson both characters from Glee to have a platonic relationship, when you have cheerleaders and head of the abstinence club, give “charity” to all jocks in her high school and in the end get pregnant and give away her child. Thank you very much for this heterosexual model of motherhood and sexual abstinence.

It is sickening to see Will as an asexual being, an un-cocked male, who barely kisses another man and this is after season 7, just because as Jack puts it; America doesn’t want to think of you as sexual. Ain’t that the truth? That’s the card they plaid for almost 8 seasons.

It is sickening to see Danny Mahealani be openly gay and accepted at his high school (hot as hell), but who seems to have forgotten he has a dick between his legs and how to use, while teen wolf here, just keeps on getting it on with the very same family who’s trying to kill him, not to speak of the other characters who seem to have almost perfect sexual lives.

It is sickening (though divine in hers and his performances) to see Tara go from man to man only to realize….hmm gee, I like girls better, and see Lafayette only as a make-up wearing gurrl on the go flipping burgers and giving attitude by the pound.

Last but not least Willow and Tara celebrating their relationship in song and magic, only to find out monogamy doesn’t work for humans and witches alike.

These are the shows which I have followed for as long as they have been on, and love, yet I cannot help but point out the bigotry of these characters when it comes to their sexuality. It is a shame they are gay character, yet they do not possess any other sexual characteristic of their kind.

It’s time to say; Yes, we want equal rights, but No, as much as we may want the same rights we’re not all the same, and hence the naming, the ever so nicely etiquette word which describes me and you as individuals, Same yet Different.

 

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