That’s a Straight Guy for Ya…

menHave you ever wondered what sex is like with a “straight” guy? Have you ever met a guy who has every attribute you associate with a good time, hot-steamy-sex and more? Well let me paint a scenario for you. Lets just say you meet such a guy and he says he’s straight, which right there should make you wanna do a 180 and flee, but you stay hoping for the best. Now, in my 30 something years as a professional gay man, I’ve encountered many of these species of men and it always ends up the same way. It starts with a hot, passionate, out of this world night (or afternoon) of passion and then, all of a sudden, as soon as they cum, they’re up on their feet, dressed and out the door faster than you can say; your cum tasted good (at least try to). Well my darling, that’s a closet case for ya, so beware.

And let’s not forget the religious types, those who must juggle between religious sermons and sexual ones. Those who on Sundays tell believers about the evils of this earthly life and the difference between right and wrong and one hour later they’re at your place doing exactly what they preached against. The ones who say to you; I’ll be back after Ramadan, who fast all day and sway away from other earthly goods for the sake of saving their miserable souls for the next 11 months. In here lies the agony of the most absolute of treacherous hypocrisies.

How many breeders do you know who talk about pussy and their latest conquest all day long, just to die for a piece of cock all night? I know many of such individuals; they surround me like muddy flood waters. They disgust me. I wanna vomit so hard to make Janis Joplin look like a debutant.  Those same individuals are the first in life to attack anyone who seems “different” though being different is not as much part of the attacked as much as it of the attacker. These self-loathing individuals, who are so horrified they will be found out, are the ones who are able to commit atrocities against others. It is such scum who’ll fuck you and slash your throat afterwards.   Continue reading

Lucianus – Back With A Vengeance

374536_532474733447571_1238903763_nFinally I’m back, after being away from my little baby for a long time due to illness, I am back. It has been quite an interesting past few weeks as I went through so much and had to deal with all on all my own. I believe it was time for me to come back. This time around and from now on there will be a noticeable difference in this blog;


To understand what I just said, let me give you a quick tour of my former self in this blog. I always tried to be politically correct, trying to give the best perspective without trying to offend anyone or sound as racist, heterophobic, misogynistic and so on. I have tried and bit my tongue sort of speak whenever I posted something on this page. I did so to such an extent, I completely forgot who this blog was for. It is for me, it was started by me for myself to have a venue where I could express myself, my ideas and ideals meanwhile it has turned into a crowd pleasing farce that I no longer will allow and perpetuate.

It is time to take off my white linen gloves and give a huge middle finger to everyone the rest of the world. I believe everyone has the right to self-expression as much as to self-censorship (obviously self-censorship has not been applied hard and long enough), but in NO WAY, in NO WAY I will allow anyone to direct the course of my blog, what’s posted in it and how it is presented. In NO WAY I will allow bigots and closeted self-haters to have a voice and I will fight them every step of the way till the day I die. In NO WAY I will allow anyone to get away with remarks on issues I have very strong feelings about, starting with my own personal mental and physical health as much as my rights as a human being. It is now time to go on the offensive against all those scum of the earth who dare say and DO whatever they think they can get away with, just because, as a group they feel stronger, while singled out they are ready to be harvested, and God knows how much I’d like to harvest some of them.

From now on I do not care if you’re offended by what I post, by what I write and do not care if I am right or wrong. If you don’t like it, u can unfollow me, or not check back any longer. Fuck “turn the other check” crap, Jesus sure as hell was no peace maker; he was a mental case with a mission and purpose. From now on it is ON.

After weeks of being ill and having a lot of time to think about many aspects of my life and how people affect said life, I’m back for revenge, and nothing is sweater than revenge on the rocks; shake, stir and serve. With more health issues to come, I want to make sure that in any case I will leave something behind worthwhile. I will not be forgotten as long as someone will read a post, a comment. I am sick and tired of bullshiting myself and my readers into thinking this is a cutesy blog about male beauty, black and white photography and abstract photography. It is much more than that, it is my voice, my character, personality, my soul poured into it. It is my escape route into an otherwise colliding train. It is in the end TRUTH, my own, my personal. If you feel already offended by reading so far, wait, it does get better. In the next coming weeks I will start to post everything I never dared to post, and I will comment on everything I censored myself from commenting.

It is time to be honest. Honest about religion and religious people. Honest about straight people. Honest about gay people. Honest about the politics and policies of today’s society. Honest about freedom of speech and my freedoms as an individual. I am under attack, I feel it everyday of my life and I will hold back no longer. It is not a matter of sex, race, sexual orientation, system of beliefs; you all disgust me. Some of you may be familiar with this feeling and some of you may be oblivious to it. Either way you’re all in it, you stir this shit and expect to be eatable. Some say; you must cope, you must fit in. some others say; you’re not one of us, you do not belong here, you need to be eradicated like a malignant tumor. To all goodwillings and not so, I say FUCK YOU. I’m not coping, I’m not fitting in and sure as hell you will NOT eradicate me until there is still one single breath left in me.

I bless you all with these words; May you never find death in your darkest hour, until you do right by me. Finally, a true blessing from the real Infernal Deity of a Psychotic Mind.


Liquid Rage

Photography by Jens Kirstein

Liquid Rage - Jens Kirstein

Bruised III – “No” is Not a Valid Answer

I laid my naked body on top of his, our faces almost touching.

– “Will we ever be more than this?” I asked,

“No,” he responded. “You’re not my type, sorry.” – Lucianus


The Silence Within II

No more tears of sadness

No screams of pain from wrongs past

Sole silence

Nothing forgiven nor forgotten

Yet, thy choice for a temporary truce is obvious

Time has come

Exist among these creatures of a forgetful god

This shall never be acceptance

Thus, it is more a resignation

One needs to stop running once in a lifetime.The Silence WithinRelated Articles

Fragmented Existence

There exists a duality within me. Two very distinct entities called Guilt and Loss. Like all evil twins, they fight each other endlessly for supremacy of my persona. The sole other outside force trying to bring peace among chaos is called Therapist. I hate all three of them at this time. The idea of denied self-expression, unless under retaliatory judgment, is absolutely maddening. – Lucianus 2013



When Enough is ENOUGH!!!


You know, there comes a time in life, where you just feel not only like giving the middle finger to the whole world but screaming your lungs out so loud that the mountains shake and all those bitches out there who get on your nerves for one reason or another run like whores being chances by Chicago police department officers on a cold night on the west side.

You know, it’s one thing to go through the motions of being in the midst of people and having to deal with all sorts of bullshit that comes your way, cose after all that’s the kinda job you do, and it’s a whole different ball game when you have to deal with people you though had some lick of thought to understand whatcha going through and try at least to stay outta your hair.

1)      I don’t need someone to tell me what I done wrong. I ALREADY KNOW, BITCH!!!!

2)      There’s no point in trying to give me voluntary advice when I never asked you to begin with. If I need advice I’d talk to myself in front of a mirror, cose you know what, no one gives better advice than you.

3)      When you want something from me you better be as clear as possible cose I might read feelings but BITCH, I ain’t no psychic. So unless you told me whatcha wanted and I fucked it up, you have no right to curse me out for what I didn’t do right cose YOU…WERE…NOT…CLEAR…BITCH!!!

4)      All you men out there thinking you got the “DICK O’ LIFE” better smell the shit outta yo own asses cose it ain’t never gonna smell like roses and I’m sick and tired of that shit. It’s one thing to be a man and another to be a slimy ass bitch of a hoe that tries to be fly and smells like just rolled up in his own nut sack and came out for a date.

5)      I’m sick and tired of people trying to tell me what best for me, BITCH HOW WOULD YOU KNOW???!!! How the fuck you know what’s best for me when you never spend more than two hours with me once or twice every two months???

6)      I have the right to express myself just like you have the right not to give a shit, but at least don’t comment about it, let a person be who wants to be RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW. There’s limits to all of us and right about now I reached mine and you better be glad I’m writing it down than actually do something else about it.

7)      I’m fucking tired of apologizing for being me. For being expressive, and having so much feelings inside, emotions bottled up, and loneliness to keep me company that when I do get to express them people feel a bitches purse just spilled out on the street and all the junk inside just rolled to the curb. This is me; like it or leave it, no in betweens, no compromises. The only thing a compromise ever got me was a bad case of Chlamydia. So SHOVE IT!!!

8)      I try to do my best at everything I have to, but you know what there’s times when I just can’t. I haven’t slept well in over a year; I can’t seem to rest even when I’m resting. I try to shut the world out and get some peace, yet peace is the exact thing which is missing from my life. Yet, I still get up every fucking day, I go to work, I pay my bills, and I owe no one anything cose I can provide for myself. And all I get is these bitches offering advice on where and how to peace and quiet myself down and what to do after work, and how to spend my free time, as if that shit was sold at some corner store but I was too motherfuckin lazy to get my sorry ass down there and buy it. So FUCK with the advice. Unless you come up all wrapped up as peace, shove it.

9)      Whoever says I’m rambling, ranting, bitching and moaning can rim my ass (with lots of deep tongue) so hard to make it feel like Christmas. No one is forcing you to read this post and so keep your thoughts to yourself if you just happened to run into this post by mistake click the BACK button and don’t Dr. Phil me to death, ok????

All I hear is noise. All I see is ugliness and fuck all you tree hugging bitches out there telling me it gets better. Maybe it does, or maybe it’s never gonna get better, let a sister chose for herself.

I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. I don’t want people to try and help me. If I need help, or advice or anything else, trust me I’ll make sure to let you know about it. All I need is for people to shut the fuck up and just listen, that’s all just listen. No one listens anymore, everybody just talks and shit that come out is motherfuckin unbelievable.


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