Fashion Forward – Moving on Up

Never be afraid to do what others are thinking, be proud of your fashion sense, even if it’s just pumps you’re wearing.

Olympic Tribute

This is one amazing picture. It’s simmetry, balance, lighting and setting are just what the Olympics are all about.

Here is Decathlon contender Bjorn Barrefors, not only is he hot but he seems to be enjoying these Olympics more than anyone else I’ve seen so far. Way to go Bjorn, you’re the pride and joy of Sweden and the rest of us mortals.

 

Contemplative Rage

 

My uncle was predisposed to drunken rages. We would hide in our room in hopes of being spared. My sister and I do not talk about those days, but the terror a drunken man in a rage can create in a child will stay with you forever. – Lucianus 2012

Realism

Realism; When optimism and pessimism have failed you. – Lucianus 2012

Ok guys, going with the flow today and posting videos here is a guy Mike Tompkins who’s just amazing at what he does. This entire song is made up of just his voices that’s all, am amazed. Enjoy it…

FUNKY FISH

IS FANTASTIC!!!

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Renee Fleming – Rusalka “Měsíčku na nebi hlubokém” (Song to the Moon).

I had never heard of Renee Fleming until a few months ago while watching the movie Broken Sky – El cielo dividido (original title) (2006). I will talk about the movie on a different post, but what I would like to say regarding Renee Fleming’s voice and Rusalka is that it is one of the greatest pieces I’ve heard so far in my life, written by the Czech composer Antonín Leopold Dvořák in 1900. The very fact this was put into a scene where a broken heart guy, lonesome and hurting goes to a gay underground bar to meet someone, anyone, made the scene even more powerful. Her voice was so deep, so touching, full of feeling that I’m not ashamed to admit cried harder than I had done in years. I hope you enjoy this song as much as I did, and that it brings to you what it brought me, a touch of my own soul, hurting, in pain, yet hopeful.

Mariza – Cavaleiro Monge

I will never forget the first time I heard Mariza sing. It was something out of a dream, a voice so deep and touching it brought tears to my eyes and shivers down my spine. I had been a fan of Dulce Pontes, but discovering Mariza brought a new perspective on Portuguese music, and the subsequent discovery of Amalia Rodriguez. Mariza is an amazing singer and this is my favorite song which I have listen to hundreds of times and know the lyrics by heart. I will post my favorite songs of the other two divas of Portuguese music mentioned above. If you know of any other singers please leave me a comment below. Enjoy Cavaleiro Monge…

From Greece with Love

Sunday Bite – My Funny Valentine

As summer days are getting shorter, and my heart is still broken, I look as this picture and so I sigh. – Lucianus 2012

Like Mah Status…!!!

Ok guys, after all the drama of the past few days I decided to post something fun. I came across this video on YouTube while watching another episode of Ray William Johnson. Two things; MilesJai is a very funny guy, over the top diva, who reminds me of myself when I was his age and everything felt like the end of the world. Now that I’m older, I feel other stuff is really the end of the world so I laugh at all the teen drama as I’ve been through it myself. But seriously though, check out his page at MilesJaiProductions and decide for yourself, I myself watched about 20 something videos of his yesterday alone, shows to prove I have no life :), kiddin…

Second, which one of us hasn’t gotten fed up with friends and not so close friends and acquaintances asking to re-post this and that message they felt was important and ask us to “LIKE” their Facebook status ? It’s one thing to care and share, another to be obnoxious about it. As MilesJai says, don’t be like; why isn’t nobody liking my status? Why isn’t nobody think I’m pretty? Why isn’t nobody like the things I do, Oh Mah God??? – Because guess what, nobody…gives…a…shit, so whatcha need to do is chill yo ass out, and shut it down!!! Enjoy guys, and remember – never get 2 serious and 2 judgemental about anything, no one is forcing yo hand, smooches…

P.S. You know I got them little yellow stars down there for a reason so get clicking and rate goddammit. Ops, I feel like one of them “LIKE” my status people now, LMAO.

Related Links (videos);

Only Gay in the World

I hate my Job – Dance Version Statement

If Movies Were Real 2

 

Why do You Hate the Women???

Many times in my life, I have found myself answering questions from people in regards to stupid preconceived notions. It has been a struggle to maintain composure and at the same time be able to convey the idea of whatever subject matter I was being asked to answer for. Yesterday was one of those days when you feel not only the individual has completely lost any grasp with reality, but the whole world seems somehow to have lost their mind during the night.

Almost a year ago, I was introduced by a friend of mine to a person who is a Reiki master, and having seen Reiki masters many times throughout the last decade I was thrilled to have found one in my country, let alone in my city. As months progressed we kept a cordial friendship in hopes (on my part) of receiving advice through said person in regards to energy work, inner peace, holistic medicine and so forth. Nothing would have prepared me for what came to be yesterday, this is part of the conversation;

Turning 30 and Making Friends – The Challenge

 

What’s Really Difficult about Turning 30: It’s Harder to Make Friends

By BELLA DEPAULO, PH.D

For some, turning thirty marks the first birthday event that seems vaguely unsettling. Thirty just sounds so different than 20 or even 29. Pressures to get married already bear down on those who are single, and the “when’s the baby coming?” questions start popping up in the conversations with people who are married but have no kids.

Thirty can also be a time when your body no longer seems to function as seamlessly as it once did (if it once did). That can be a rude shock, too.

A challenge far less frequently recognized is that after 30 (or thereabouts), it can also become more difficult to make friends. In your teens and twenties, if you are friendship-fortunate, like-minded people open to friendship are all around you. Not so later on.

Recently in the New York Times, Alex Williams’ story, “Friends of a certain age,” rightfully climbed up the list of the most e-mailed articles soon after it appeared. The tease for the article is, “Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30?”

Williams did his research, and offered some thoughtful answers. From his conversation with sociologist Rebecca Adams, he offered this observation (the bullet point formatting is mine):

“As external conditions change, it becomes tougher to meet the three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends:

• proximity;
• repeated, unplanned interactions; and
• a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.”

My Penis may Benefit from Junk E-mail…

 

Why is it that every time you receive a junk email about penis enlargement it says; order now for your free sample and see true results? – Doesn’t the advertisement insinuates that once you take this “magic” pill things will “improve”, and if  so and I took my free sample and saw results, why would I need the rest of the bottle? Are they trying to lure you inch by inch (all pun intended), as if you looked down and went…DAMN, This shit really works!!! Let me get the whole bottle I’ll make a horse fade in comparison, I’ll split the Black Sea make Moses look like a novice with his staff, I’ll have people come from all over and wanna touch it cose it’s so magically delicious and a vision for sore eyes (also all pun intended). It puts a new perspective on the phrase; just got a new tripod, doesn’t it?

 

Junior – Sunday Praise and Worship

Shadowy Creatures by Arian Levanael

“As I was lying in bed the other day, I suddenly realized I was entombed in my own bedroom. The outside world being shut out, light mostly covered in heavy curtains and sound only allowed to whisper through my earplugs. I now was a whisper of my own past, a shadow of my own presence and a nightmare of my own making. ” – Lucianus 2012

Human Nature by Constantine

“One thing that can be said about loneliness is that it is highly reliable, resilient in its execution, and extremely entertaining for those who dwell in self-sadism” – Lucianus 2012

Sunday Bite – Self Portrait

When Words are not Enough: Prelude to Decay

Those of you who have been following my blog it will come as a surprise reading this, as I have rarely spoken about social issues which were not directed to specific matters such as LGBT rights, psychological disorders and male sexuality.

It’s been a long time since I spoke about social issues which encompass all of us, the entire society as a whole, by exposing to the least my personal disdain and to the most my rage towards our so called reality and society. There comes a time when a person must express his own rage regarding what the aforementioned have become, pure and utter obsolete remnants of a decaying past perpetuated into the present and pushed forward as the golden ideals of what the future should and will be like for all of us. Let us start evaluating the present, our everyday lives, and social, economical, psychological as well as cultural issues at hand.

Our everyday lives have become a constant reminder of what we’re striving for, which is survival. It was never meant to be a matter of living in order to work, but the opposite. If we strive only to work in order to survive what part of our lives is any longer about living life? If we’re underpaid, working extended hours and earning fewer wages while bills pile up and things get more expensive so we work harder in order to make it through and make ends meet, what are we living for? A brighter future, and if so for whom? A better tomorrow, and if so what about today? We’ve been indoctrinated into believing that the only way for us to have a better tomorrow is to go to college, earn a degree and soon all doors will be opened. When did it become ok to collect debt in order to further our education? When did we become as silly as to believe that by earning that degree we automatically have better chances than most to have a career? What you most hear today is those same young people who after finishing college return home, as they can’t afford to live on their own and it’s becoming increasingly harder to find an entry position with any company, because the system in place asks that besides you bachelors degree you must have working experience in the same field? Isn’t it an oxymoron to ask someone who just finished college to also have 1 to 2 years entry level experience, and where would have such individual acquired it while s/he was pushing all nighters to study for mid-term exams and perhaps working at your local 7 Eleven or CVS or Walgreens? What has our education become when you have shows such as “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?” and people at home watching it go; I know that. Of course you should know that you stupid ass bitch, you’re 30 years old.

Death of Words: Potential by The AntiNietzsche – In-depth Commentary Analysis

Preface

After a great read of the original article by The AntiNietzsche titled Death of Words: Potential (you can read the whole article below this post), I decide not only to answer by giving my own perspective, but also make sure that both the article and the subsequent commentary analysis were read, since it seems it went unnoticed when first posted back in March of 2012. I encourage you to read the original article posted below (as reblog) and give your own perspective in this matter as well as allow yourself to explore ideas which are rarely discussed about. Below is my own commentary analysis to this article. Enjoy both…

– “To put it in another way, it seems very strange to me why it’s those who wield the most power and influence, in (at least) the public sphere of the sociopolitical scene, are the most vocal about their sympathies for all those in society who are by default the most powerless.  I would think that if the status of the impoverished and voiceless was so admirable to the socially affluent, the latter would be doing more to bring themselves to the former’s virtuous level.” – The AntiNietzsche

It is my experience, at least living in the States; this is often the truth about politicians trying to convey an image of an individual who understands the struggles of the working class. In the past it was often spoken about “saving the middle class” as an important lever and balance for the economy. Now it is more often spoken about the poor, those who make on average 26K a year or less. Reality is two-fold; on one side it is very clear most politicians could care less about those who vote them in office in the first place. Unless it’s their “base”, which is made up of over privileged individuals, corporations, banking, drug companies, oil companies and so on. Those who in recent years and mostly this year have been called the 1%. On the other hand you have the so-called 99% who vote those same individuals who have a clear record of not taking their job seriously enough to convey people’s will who elected them in the first place.

Gods & Goddesses – An Egyptian Revival

My fascination with Egypt started long ago, and throughout my life it has grown exponentially to become one of the most researched and sought after historical data  regarding this glorious land. Besides the pantheon of so many Gods and Goddesses and their influence in Egyptian life for thousand of years, there’s also a cultural interest as well as the known archaeological data collected for many years. Photographer  Johann Marx, takes a new spin to this idea of man/god relationship, thus becoming a very fresh take on a matter of man versus divinity and the intertwining of them both in many societies, in this case focusing on Ancient Egypt. Enjoy it

Sunday Bite – For you Sire…

My dear friend Jaen has done it again. She’s been able to tap on something so important to all of us, regardless of suffering from BPD or anything else or just living through everyday life. We try so hard to fit in, that at some point we realize we’re shadows of who we once were. Inheriting the wind.
More so here are some question I often would ask myself and have yet to get answers for;
Who am I?
What am I?
Is this all there is to me?
Will I ever feel content at least, if not happy?
Am I the only one who feels this way about it?
Should I tell him what dream I had last night, or maybe not cose he might think I’m a loony?

Apart from the amazing details and color, one other thing can be said about this shot; If you carefully look at the left and right eye from your point of view you’ll notice the left eye looks resigned, while the right one is attentive. Absolutely great work of using photography as means to help psychology.

Brian Gaynor Photography

The eyes have one language everywhere.

~ George Herbert

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I’ll pick numbers 2, 3, 5 and 7 as quotes heard before said to me by those who were supposed to love and support me, now let me add a few not mentioned above.
1) Don’t you dare cry (after being beaten or slapped across the face, if I shed a tear I was served more gratuitous physical abuse)
2) You’ll finish your plate and than you can go throw up if you want. (after being served something I was disgusted by and to this day still am)
3) Your mother is a whore, either you’re with us or you’ll get the same thing she got. (my dear relatives)
4) You’ve built a wall and shut your own family out, I’ll never understand how you just don’t care about us.
5) My God, do you ever stop complaining, you’re always in pain or something. (after being asked how I was doing that day)
6) Why do you have to look back at you life in Chicago, it’s not like you left the love of your life behind or something, you had nothing going on for you there. (being reminded my present situation is better than what I had for a decade)

One thing that can be said to support this post is my personal experience as a sexual being. I started very young in 6th grade to play around with guys in my class and had my first real sexual intercourse at the age of 15. Throughout the years I have used sex for many different things, from stress reliever to escapism, to even filling the void felt within during those dark periods of depression when nothing seemed to ease the pain. Needless to say the void was still there, and I always felt worse after having sex. Even when I had great sex it still did not make me feel full. I had countless sexual partners and most times I didn’t use protection, nor was I particularly protective of my body during sex. Sex was used in most cases as a self-mutilation cooping mechanism. Not to get too graphic here, but why cut yourself, use drugs etc, when you can be impaled on a cock!?

A few almost rhetorical questions rise in regards to the last paragraph.
Do you really think that by overcoming depravity, become reasonable and remove ourselves to every facet of life which gives us most meaning, we would actually lose our humanity and thus become dull? Would that actually be a bad thing? Isn’t it true that most sufferings in the world are actually fueled by such irrationalities and by the self-proclaimed superiority as a race among all other species has given rise to those within said race of humanoid creatures to go above and beyond in order to rule over those they considered inferior?
Why is reason (in this case) seen as devoiding the individual of creative thinking and thus aesthetic inspiration? Is it because most of our history, arts, life, wars and relative peace have been fueled by such trivialities?
Isn’t it possible to reach a level of never before achieved reasoning and stoic sentiment, and yet still maintain certain self-appealed feelings such as imagination, inspiration, aesthetics and so on?
Does a highly reasoning mind succumb to self-righteousness, or does it simply apply such reason to every facet of it’s society?
There could be myriads more questions like the ones above, but I’ll stop here, and I would like to point out my personal beliefs;
a) We do not need darkness in order to appreciate the light.
b) We do not need evil to recognize goodness.
c) Certainly we do not need pain and suffering and tests thrown at us throughout our lives from so many different angles just so we can better ourselves and achieve a certain degree of enlightenment.
The world we live in, seems to have gotten everything backwards by asserting the above mentioned “beliefs” as the only way to improvement and thus giving rise to absolute moronic catch phrases such as; when you’re at the bottom, the only way is up, to which my answer is; Bitch Please!!!

Women, Men and Trauma

Article by RICHARD ZWOLINSKI, LMHC, CASAC & C.R. ZWOLINSKI – Original Article Posted by www.psychcentral.com

C.R. shares more thoughts on trauma:

I watched in horror as a little boy of about five was whacked—hard—across his face on the subway. His mother began to berate him, calling him names (“retard” was one of the ones I remember), ridiculing him. He didn’t cry. He just stared straight ahead, as if he wasn’t in his body.

I desperately wanted to do something, but there was only a subway worker in uniform and me on the train and she just looked the other way. Plus, it looked like the mother had some kind of weapon stuck in the top of her jeans.

At the next stop, I got off and asked another woman what to do. She, too, told me it’s not a crime to smack your kid. But this mother didn’t just “smack” him. She put all her force into the blow. I knew I couldn’t identify her (I mainly looked at the little boy and then turned away in case I would incite her anger against him.) I didn’t know what else to do. I felt defeated.

This was quite a while ago. But, if you live in New York, and you take public transportation, this is not all that unusual.

Something About a Man with Glasses…

Model; Keith Hennings – Photography by Bing Zhang

A Summer Story

I know it may sound weird, but today we celebrate Summer’s Day in my neck of the woods. So in lieu of this Pagan celebration I decided to post something which is part of what makes me, me. A celebration of sexuality as the weather gets warmer, and this time I included women (shocking I know :P) they offer a very interesting shtick to this setting. Enjoy it 🙂

Beautiful Men – Alejandro Corzo Suarez / Simple Human Truth

There are moments in life when comforting just isn’t enough, it is like waking up in the morning and realizing you’re still dreaming. – Lucianus 2012

Sunday Bite – Welcome to my Rooftop

Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities. – C. S. Lewis

Resolviendo – Una Tarde Caliente de Verano

To see you naked is to recall the Earth. – Federico Garcia Lorca

La Seducción de Jorge Luis (Part I & II)

Continuing with our Wednesday Latino delight, here’s a photo-shoot which explores sexuality in a very bright-warm colored room, the kind of color and sensuality as well as sexuality rarely explored by most of us. That’s why photography is one of the best artistic expressions there is, it allows imagination to run free to places we dreamed of, and with its help we now have a setting for. Enjoy it…

Hitchhike Habana

There’s something about men from Cuba that is difficult to describe. They hold a certain fascination for me, a certain sex-appeal hardly found in other men. Perhaps the fact the country was mostly closed to outsiders for so long, and most of Cuba seems to be frozen in time, brings forth a sexuality which can hardly be found anywhere else. It’s thrilling exploring both the country and its people and in the midst of old cars, run down buildings, and roads as if in stasis since the 50s to which I would like to pay tribute to. Enjoy it…

Ink Studies IV – Castro

Sunday Bite – Gloves Off…

Beautiful Men – Blaze Sandvoss / Amazing Blaze